#.6 : One Direction, a certified recipe since 1983

They have one chance out of three to end up overweighted, alcoholic or dead before 35. It is their drama that triggers interest, music is only an accessory, a way to legitimate their extended coverage. Virgins rhapsodize, they finally found a short-term investment with a 0% interest rate!! Ha, young people don't know where to spend their parents money nowadays. Directionners vs Beliebiebers, frenetic hashtags wars on Twitter, more and more blogs and fan fictions on the web; vudu dolls at their effigy will soon become regular security blankets. One Direction is the millenial boys band, the Beatles-wannabees fed with cameras, glitters, expensive brands and sulfurous groupies; 1983 because it's not new but desperately recycled.

Everything begins when Niall, Zayn, Liam, Harry and Louis head up to the UK most popular TV show, X-Factor. The jury cry their eyes out: You're cute! You sing well! I loooove your style! Your hair! Ho! Ha! But you're not that much of a deal you know, we have the new Amy Winehouse on one hand and the heir of Michael Bubblé on the other...

Meanwhile, an idea takes roots into Simon Cowell's mind (producer of the show, loads of money but poor clothes choices during auditions: he doesn't have our time). They may not be strong enough as solo singers, but it would be likely to change if we put them together; they'll be invincible! I'll be the master of the 8-16-year-old maket!! *rubbing his hands*. He will suggest to Nicole to do the proposal though. Indeed it shouldn't be that obvious for people that are voting every week that the show is anything else but a fruit machine. 

So the band is formed and on the rocks! 5 weeks to recreate the equivalent of a 15-year long lasting friendship. But it is not enough to put 5 hansome boys together; they also need to vehiculate a brand image, because it's one of the most important component to their success (more than music actually), so we'll put everything in there. From the cute American hip hop well-behaved guy (bam! colored teddies) to the complete 'suit up' look without forgeting the British retro side à la Oliver Twist, everyone gets a piece of the cake.  

And the phenomenon is launched! One direction: 8-16 year-old pants (that's surely where the name came from, haha, you have some good sense of humor Simon, I like that). Girls have all their names in their mouth and wet their first underwear while listening to 'What Makes You Beautiful'. The clip says it all: we're talking about a girl that makes them fall in love, we end up with 5 retarded people running after the tide. I admit that I stayed speechless about the concept.

But who are the girls that allow this to happen all over again? We had Backstreet Boys, Take That and stuff, now it's One Direction... They will not last, that's the very point of all the enthusiasm around them. Girls will eventually grow up and realise they can't identify to 1D anymore, while 1D member will be assimilated for life as the five cute puppets that served as cash cows by Simon. As we speak a second album is planned to be released at the end of the year... I'm really sceptical about all this. But the recipe works well for them, I hope they will enjoy it before the heat collapses (and it will, for sure!).